Recovery is like...

Recovery is like a jealous lover.

She holds you close

but not too close.

She puts you to the test

that you may get to know her.

When the abyss of addiction

stares you right in the face

she stares right back at you.

---<--@

There is no dignity in drug abuse.

Laban ng Buhay

Laban ng buhay,

hamon ng panahon!

Gumising O puso,

tumugon sa hamon!

Lumaban sa agos,

pag-asa'y itaguyod.

Laban ng buhay,

iwaksi ang takot!

Manalig sa sarili.

Maging tapat sa Diyos.

Kapwa mo'y mahalin.

Katotohana'y intindihin.

Puso ng tao'y

parang tala sa langit

na sa gabi'y nangarap

at minsa'y nagising

sa dilim at liwanag

at sa umagang parating.

Ito ang kalayaang

hindi kayang alisin

kalayaang sa puso'y

kung bibigyang pansin

kapangyarihang tunay

na pumiling taglay.

O pusong natutulog

gumising sa dilim!

Dusa'y intindihin.

Imobt ay alisin.

Ningning mo'y patikasin,

liwanag mo'y palawakin.

Laban ng buhay

sa kadilima'y ipahiwatig

sa mga pusong nakikinig

lumaban sa agos

tumugon sa hamon

at lumaya ng lubos.

Laban ng buhay,

hamon ng panahon!

Puso ko ika'y tumugon.

Mamuhay ng may tapang,

problema'y harapin,

langit mo'y abutin.

Kung pangarap mo'y

malayang susundin,

kung liwanag mo'y

siyang pagtitibayin,

sa laban ng buhay

kamit mo'y tagumpay.

Laban ng buhay!

Puso ko sa dilim

sa Diyos ang tingin

pangako Niya'y dingin

manalig, maniwala

mangarap ng malaya.

---<--@

Liwanag at Dilim

On Being Strong

Our precious Starshine -

STRIVE.

Strength is primarily expressed in the masculine.

Strength is fidelity to the truth; a measure of its brightness.

It is the noble glow of its own conviction; the ascendant magnitude of our every embrace of all those living and everliving things that belong to the timelessness in our souls.

Strength is secure in its patience being sure of the reality of itself; born of the light that understands the exactness of its own truth.

It is not harsh and uncertain of its own reality; born not of the lie that in the darkness understands not itself.

Strength is certain in its meekness. It is a temper of the will that neither rises nor falls but is even and steadfast against the assault of false things.

It is not a hardness that hides its unfamiliarity to its own virtue; being established not by ignorance of the value of the beautiful things it exists to serve and to keep.

It is not coldness. It is not distance. It is not decrease.

It is warmth. It is presence. It is increase.
---<--@

Love the LORD, thy God, in everything and with everything. This is the truth.

On Being Beautiful

Our precious Starshine -

DO NOT DESPAIR.

Beauty is primarily expressed in the feminine.

It is a state. You were born in it. For you are thus, and so with all beautiful things must strive to return to our LORD with it, being as you are - in the way that you are constantly remembered by our God in eternity.

Beauty is joyful. Eternally youthful. It is not a feeling. It is never passing.

Beauty is chaste. It can be claimed only by Love. It is not carnal. Invincible against lust.

Beauty is free -

You do not have to strive to be beautiful, precious Starshine, for Beauty is somewhere you may always return to, in your heart of hearts, a sufficiency that you share with the one Beautiful.

Nor must must others approve of your being yourself - for as flowers must bloom in their own time, so will you - therefore, Beloved of God, establish your roots in the timeless image and likeness within thyself and strive everyday to reach out into the outside world that needs so much of what you have to offer.
---<--@

Beauty is a thing beheld by the one Beautiful and so rejoices in God her savior.

Peerless

O LORD!

Thou art One -
Peerless and Inaccessible.

Thou art Being -

Infinite in Perfection.

Thou art Beauty -

Unsurpassed in Wisdom.

Thou art Good -

Wondrous in Power and Might.

Thou art Strength -

Ready and Able to Save.

Thou art Will -

The Fullness of Compassion.

Thou art the Truth -

Thou art God,

Thou art God,

Thou art God,

Irresistible is the Sound of Thy Name

who can withstand Thee?
---<--@

"This is my Name forever

the Name you shall call Me

from generation to generation."

Impatient

THERE IS A SENSE
of wide-eyed anticipation
which is a marvelous work, indeed,
wrought by our peerless LORD
to excite upon hearts of good will
a wonder of good things to come -
a wonder of good things
so infinitely unimaginable
yet always within
immediate grasp of our joy.

It lends to the soul
an almost impatient feeling
that stays at the limits
of one's awareness
and amidst the noise of
our necessary labors
and the sufferings of
this necessary life
is ever present, ever vigilant,
ever ready to take wing
to lend its refreshing certainty
and add buoyancy to our hope.

How marvelous, indeed,
my constant friend and companion
are the works of our LORD:
Alleluia! Amen to God, Alleluia!

---<--@

My Miyang

O Father of mercy and of love, in the deepest, darkest depths of despair, You have blessed me with a special friendship. The very first star in the firmament of the darkest night of my life.

You gave me Annelies Marie Frank, O Lord, as a light against despair. The first glimmer of hope that leads to faith in things everlasting and unseen.

Loving Father, thank you so much for blessing me with a friend as precious as Anne. Grant me, O Lord, I humbly pray, with the love to cherish her now and forever.

AMEN.

20101111

Year One

I've been in recovery since 2003 when I first learned about the 12 Steps.

The Steps work if they are worked. This I know for sure.

But the willingness to work the Steps, I have learned, is directly proportional to the pain of its necessity. In this way, relapse is a part of recovery. It drew me into my recovery by the pain of my active addiction.

I've never been to a rehab till now. It was only after countless relapses that I became exhausted enough to check myself into the DDB-EU TRC. And God made a way for me to do so.

That was exactly a year ago now.

I'm happy and thankful to report I've made some progress.

I've a safe space now. And a new family of friends who have found a new way of life without the use of drugs.

Thank You, God, and thank you everyone!


Recovery rocks exceedingly!
---<--@

I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne’er a word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her,
When sorrow walked with me.

- Robert Browning Hamilton