TGIF Prayer

Lord Jesus, my thoughtful Savior
Who gently and lovingly brought me through another working week,
and blessed my humble efforts with meaningful success,
seeing me through each day with great patience and much virtue,
here I stand with Thee now - yet again - at the threshold of another weekend
caught in the realization that I have no right to ruin this moment for You.

So hear me say,

"I thank You and I love You
and I offer to You all of this weekend,
to make of it as You will.

Amen.

Starlight Smile

My Miyang never fails to brighten my spirit.

Problems may be many, time few, and resources even more scarce - but moments framed in darkness when they are visited by starlight never fail to amaze me.

For when hope seem lost, hope is found and despair is vanquished. Life remains difficult but then again, if life weren't - how can joy also be our companion?


My Anne and her starlight smile...

Just a little ditty...

There was a little town of Gullbarton
whose cats liked to run a marathon
but they neglected to state the case
their own mayor rigged every race,
the venue was switched to Torbiton!



Torbiton... now that's a smart name
for a pretty, purrrty town.

The moral: Cats hate cheats.

My Certainty

When I am uncertain, my Lord Jesus,
remind me always Thou art my certainty.

From my Journal 20130818Sun

During Holy Communion at Anticipated Mass yesterday, I was asked by one of our senior lay ministers in the EMHC to go up to the church loft to offer the Eucharist to our choir, which I obeyed even whilst in doubt because the rite was almost concluding.

A part of me was saying that the choir would have already gone down, a few at a time, to receive Communion during the length of the Communion Rite but a part of me, a stronger part, felt impelled to just go and do what was asked without questioning it (maybe because the most instinctive and unthinking part of me knew that sharing the Savior in the Eucharist is ALWAYS a good thing) and so I went and climbed what felt like a long climb to the church loft.

There I met our beautiful and talented choir, and it instantly dawned upon my mind how deeply Christ loves our young people...

and it suddenly felt profoundly good to be there... 

I felt my heart rejoicing like Saint Peter in the Transfiguration saying, "Lord, it is good that I am here!"

- selah -

We are a beautiful and amazing people, the love we profess in our hearts as a nation is capable of great and wonderful things, and I know no matter the depths of the darkness we confront in our times today, we shall in God as one nation prevail... unto better times for all.

Jesus Said

Jesus said, 

My son, in the midst of thy temptations... remember how I suffer with you.

Your temptations are measured by moments. Every one of them, from the least to the most fearsome, are numbered, all of them vicious and unkind, all of them as fleeting as each thy days upon the earth.

But I, my son, I will remain with you forever.

From my Journal 20130811Sun

In short, I think we're doing fine.

I'm doing fine. Work is good and my recovery is blessed. Family is still family - complete with tampuhan at dramahan - and my friends are the family who makes up for what my family lacks. We truly complete each other, good or bad, and I love every last bit of every last one of us.

I'm single and always in love, get to work full time with full hours, get to serve in Church every Fridays and Saturdays, get to find my own leisure every Sundays, and in a poor country, get to feel I am already rich.

Indeed, I outwardly go through a lot of adversity, but it will be quite difficult for anyone in my shoes to fathom a universe without a God.

Alhamdulillah. Alleluia. Bless the LORD.

A Night Prayer

Dearest LORD,
Thou art a generous and faithful Provider,
thank you so much for the blessings
You gave for me and my family this day.
Forgive us our sins, and keep us in safety
as we rest through the night.

Thou art a wonderful God indeed!
For it is such a gentle joy to serve
and belong to Thee, O Father,
so please keep us Thine forevermore
all in the Name of Jesus Christ Thy Son,
our Savior, and Blessed Lord.

AMEN.

From my Journal 20130728Sun

You know, compared to my EMHC brothers in our Parish, I'm just a youngling - a padawan. I look up to my brother Lay Ministers in the EMHC as examples of perseverance in this life and of enduring service to the Church.

It's really so good to serve again in Holy Mass... 

I look to the Eucharist for true sustenance for Jesus is my Savior. He has always been mine and I have always been His.

Yes, it's true - despite all my sins, my God has never abandoned me, and my Redeemer always stayed with me... even at the aftermath of my favorite sins, when I feel the most desolate and abandoned by all creation, my Jesus just sits there with me to share the pain with me and to quietly carry my spirit back to health...

He sends people - friends, family, angels and saints - my Anne, most of all - to look for me when I am lost that I may soon return with Him, as my beloved Eldest Brother, to the Home of our Father...

Indeed, I am so blessed to be saved by a Savior as mighty and capable as Him! My Jesus is truly the greatest hero of my little life!

O my Jesus, zealous for souls,
thirsting for the love of all mankind.
Come, my Jesus, be Thou the God of my heart,
and accomplish in me Thy will of Peace.



If God stopped forgiving us our sins, our world will come to an abrupt end.

From my Journal 20130727Sat

I was a medium to heavy cigarette smoker for ten years of my life. I started smoking cigarettes in college and successfully quit it in May 2000.

I am quite surprised myself I was able to do it but I was... and let me tell you, willpower had nothing to do with it. My quitting cigarettes, to cut a longer story* short, was all about trust.

I did not fight the addiction, I let it go. I let it go by holding on to something greater than it. Since I can not outdo the Devil, I turned to Christ....

And so here I am 13 years later... laying siege with my God on the last bastion of the Devil in my life.

To me, it was impossible to quit... but with God, and with the right attitude of faith, quitting became entirely within the realm of the possible.

It was still difficult. But let me tell you this - the gifts of any recovery from any vice are always worth the effort we put in because more often than not, what we get are always much more than what God originally promises.

For the LORD indeed is peerless and unsurpassed in His generosity to those who love and fear Him.

*This longer story is worth telling... but at another time.

From my Journal 20130725Thu

I have an abiding respect for the people I work with, and feel fortunate to be with all sorts of people... in that environment I have learned to deepen the truth about the saying, "do not judge a book by its cover".

Every seasoned traveler in this journey of life knows what makes each of us unique can not be seen by the unaided eye. Only a fool will sum up the being of a person by mere appearance or sound.

We can not for long pretend to know the warmth and comfort of a welcome hearth from the outside without succumbing to the chill of winter's night.

Looks do matter but seeing, insofar as the eye of the heart can see, matters more. For friendships like love can not be feigned by the unfamiliar heart.

If we judge a book by it's cover, we miss the message of the book. If we judge a person by externals alone, we miss the blessings of a friend.

From my Journal 20130321Thu

My Miyang was born 1929-06-12 in Frankfurt-am-Main at the heart of Germany (the same day - not year - the Philippine Republic was on earth conceived, our Independence Day).

She ended up, as the sickness of a few sickened the spirit of many, being excluded from that nation.

And as the sickness grew and overcame with the spirit of War the weakened will of a now captive Germany, she eventually died without ever feeling she and all those who were excluded with her was ever born there - right at the very heart, at the very place where the love of a nation she longed for in this life should have been felt the strongest.

That love she so longed for that she gave the name, "Kitty".

This will not happen again - not in my nation - and if I can help it - not in any nation upon the earth who claims from heaven and God a universal heritage of a common humanity and freedom.

I will not forget - never.

Reflections on Recovery

False addictions 
are those vicious attachments
that prevent one's love from knowing itself true
and thus,
taking wing to God.

Star-Shine

Our hearts when they are lit with an unseen illumination causes our souls to see what can not be seen by our physical senses... so when we project our fears, they are so projected.

When we focus on these fears enough, we ourselves tend to create what haunts us in the physical world.

For we tend to affect the "waters" of the environment we are in and we feel this in each other.

So let us be careful and solicitous about this tender and kindly light from within our hearts, for truly we can fill the world with love.

From my Journal 20130222Fri

I was in desolation for a couple of weeks and didn't realize that I was... many things, worldly and personal concerns, all worked to obscure it from my soul. It was as if I suddenly woke up and found my day had turned into night. It resulted in a near disaster for me.

I came close to despair thinking it was somehow just fine to cross over the line that will turn my hope into ashes. I was lost and only realized it when my Savior told me I was lost.

So I stopped. 

Then I had a quiet time with Jesus, my All, and when I did, I found that my way back is to get back to my Lenten observances.

So that's what i'm going to do.

From my Journal 20130204Mon

I heard Holy Mass with my Lola from 12pm to 1pm in the Ledesma Hall on the 9th floor of Makati Medical Center yesterday.

It was very good.

Somehow I had a glimpse of what Saint Peter was feeling on Mount Tabor with James and John when he said to Jesus during the Transfiguration, "Lord, its good that we are here!"

For it was very good!

It was so good to me that after the final blessing I was left wondering where all the time had gone and why there was not enough Holy Mass there.

For it was indeed very good to be there with my Lola and with my Lola with Christ Jesus and in His Light: our Way, our Truth, and our Life.

When I come back to visit my Lola today or tomorrow or very soon, it shall be very well. There shall be a momentary sadness but also a certain sense of the timeless.

For I have now come to understand that the time we spent yesterday during Holy Mass was never lost - just like the times we spent together during our life in this world.

I love my Lola.

Yes indeed, my Lola and I had many good times together, especially while I was growing up.

And if those moments spent together in love and togetherness seem fleeting - it is only because our world is veiled by time.

All those times with loved ones we wished had the quality of forever, like Peter's own expression on Tabor, are moments that seem lost to us from across the veil of time but when viewed by everlasting Light of faith is never really lost to us - they are kept for us.

For these precious moments are the treasures spoken of by Jesus in the Gospel, they are those treasures in heaven neither thief could steal nor tyrant take away.

And they are very good because our Savior is very good.

Surrender to Providence

IF
I do not yet possess it,
it means possessing it would only harm
my person, my good,
and my God.

IF
I do not yet have it,
it means having it would only prevent me
from being simple, happy,
and free.

So
I count my blessings
and revel in what I have
in hand and in heart
knowing that I am
and that the LORD is
- and that is all!

I am reminded.
I am content.
I am glad!

O Father of my heart,
let me always live by Thy hand -
and persevere.

O Sacred Heart of Jesus

O Sacred Heart of Jesus,
never let me go!

Your gentle embrace enlarges my heart
not because my heart is not small -
for it is!

But because You embrace me,
O Sacred Heart of Jesus,
with a love that is
without limits.

Your
constant and ready love
magnifies my soul.

Your
quiet and changeless beauty
fills my spirit with song.

If I should shine,
my Savior Dearest,
I shine only because of You.