Impatient

THERE IS A SENSE
of wide-eyed anticipation
which is a marvelous work, indeed,
wrought by our peerless LORD
to excite upon hearts of good will
a wonder of good things to come -
a wonder of good things
so infinitely unimaginable
yet always within
immediate grasp of our joy.

It lends to the soul
an almost impatient feeling
that stays at the limits
of one's awareness
and amidst the noise of
our necessary labors
and the sufferings of
this necessary life
is ever present, ever vigilant,
ever ready to take wing
to lend its refreshing certainty
and add buoyancy to our hope.

How marvelous, indeed,
my constant friend and companion
are the works of our LORD:
Alleluia! Amen to God, Alleluia!

---<--@

My Miyang

O Father of mercy and of love, in the deepest, darkest depths of despair, You have blessed me with a special friendship. The very first star in the firmament of the darkest night of my life.

You gave me Annelies Marie Frank, O Lord, as a light against despair. The first glimmer of hope that leads to faith in things everlasting and unseen.

Loving Father, thank you so much for blessing me with a friend as precious as Anne. Grant me, O Lord, I humbly pray, with the love to cherish her now and forever.

AMEN.

20101111

Year One

I've been in recovery since 2003 when I first learned about the 12 Steps.

The Steps work if they are worked. This I know for sure.

But the willingness to work the Steps, I have learned, is directly proportional to the pain of its necessity. In this way, relapse is a part of recovery. It drew me into my recovery by the pain of my active addiction.

I've never been to a rehab till now. It was only after countless relapses that I became exhausted enough to check myself into the DDB-EU TRC. And God made a way for me to do so.

That was exactly a year ago now.

I'm happy and thankful to report I've made some progress.

I've a safe space now. And a new family of friends who have found a new way of life without the use of drugs.

Thank You, God, and thank you everyone!


Recovery rocks exceedingly!
---<--@

I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne’er a word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her,
When sorrow walked with me.

- Robert Browning Hamilton

Gazer of Sky

APPRECIATE -
those colors in a dream
like the hue of endless skies!
Gaze into limitless horizons
far above landscapes deep within
that make beautiful the heart
of the lover for being quickened
by the soul that is in Love alive
like a dream awakening to Itself.

For what is beautiful

but the dream in the heart?
And how do we love the dream
but to believe it together -
like we appreciate those skies;
living to know each color by heart
as we gaze out into the deep -
reaching far into forever
believing endlessly.
---<--@

Love is faster than light.

Dreamer of Dreams

I am a dreamer of dreams,
a collector of memories!

Adrift in wonder, I am.
Asleep in time, I am.

I am from my dreaming
awaiting the one Dreamer
to awaken the dream in me:

"Where art thou,
O my dream?"

"Here I am, Lord."

"I am here, My beloved."

"I am Home."

---<--@


Life consists of cherished moments;
moments enriched by treasures
neither thief nor tyrant can take away;
moments that can not be measured
by hours, minutes, or seconds.

Alter Christus

O my Jesus, my Everything, my All!
My Lord and my God,
my Savior, my King, my Brother, my Friend.
Thou art my All, my Everything!
My Way, my Truth and my Life.

O my Jesus, Son of the living God and Son of Mary, lead me!
Lead me away from all that is not Thee.
Thou art my Light, my Joy and my Salvation!

O most loving Jesus, hear me: Have mercy on me, a sinner!
Take me, O Lord, take me far away from myself.
Hold me close, O Christ, into Thyself -
Into Thy Afflicted Heart, O Love, embrace me.
Immolate all my love and burning zeal for Thee.

Banish all my fears, consume all my sorrow!
Suffer with me the pain of becoming alive
and weep with me an ocean of Thy mercy
until all the darkness is gone and I am no more.
And only Thou, O glorious God, remain in me.

AMEN.

and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

John 8: 32

Lead me, Lord Jesus to where I end and You begin and all these things shall fall into place behind Thee, my God and my All.

An Accounting of Time

Our dearest Starshine;

Let me teach you
the way in which thy heart
does perceive the idea of numbers
and the concept of its operation
in those realms where
the mathematics of physicality
and the limits of its reality
in terms temporal
and in measures finite
does never and shall never agree
with the reality of things within.

Because the substance of thy soul
is the abode of the timeless
that in terms eternal
and in measures infinite
are an accounting of thy heart
that amidst thy comings and goings
perceive things as they are
like a vision of love forever
in moments standing still
and not as they seem to be
amidst the darkness of things
that appear and disappear
with the rise and fall
of the tides of exile time.

One is not the beginning
for one is time neither begun
nor is one perceived to have an end
because one is an infinity
and two is not two things together
but two things that become one
for three are not three things apart
but two things made one whole one
by the Love that visits
each our longing for itself.

And so when you shall perceive
each of thy friendships, dear Starshine,

(e.g. family and friends but above all conjugal love)
among all truly human relationships
you shall think only of one.

And when you shall seek to perceive
each our own expressions of hope
in the sharing and the bearing of Sacred Life
(e.g. complementarity of the sexes)

you shall think only of two.

And when you shall seek to perceive
those things born to thy own heart's longing
and felt through the beauty of remembrances

(e.g. the creative ideal - cooperation with the Creator)
awakening to thy slow awakening dream
you shall think only of three.

And ever be aware that the medium

of thy constant reality from within
is an emerging continuum of gratitude
spread as luminous stars upon thy spirit
bursting with the joy of living life
born from things that cleave as truth
unto that vast universe in thy soul
that make you think of the many
but return you always to one -

the One, O my Starshine,

the LORD!

The one Giver above His gifts.

Time is not distance for time is distant

only to those with distant hearts.

Nor is distance a hindrance to our hearts
that in the timeless, beholds and is beheld.

PEACE, I salute you.

---<--@

Therefore,

1 is for Perfection

2 is for Unity

3 is for Peace

Moreover,

4 is for Solidity/Strength

5 is for Belonging/Nation

6 is for Opposition/Division

7 is for Spirit

8 is for Probation/Tribulation

9 is for Retribution

10 is for Endings/Beginnings

A love that is undivided is a love that is one. And a love that is one makes all your family your friends and all your friends your family. Remember the LORD and His kindness all thy days: Strive to love with one love alone.

For whoever does the will of my heavenly Father is my brother, and sister, and mother.

- Matthew 12: 50